I'm a big "should - er" type talker...one of my old therapists always told me, "never should on yourself"... I am often tempted to comply or make decisions motivated by guilt. I stumbled across an article that addressed this type of language and it was beautifully grace-based and freeing.
"The problem with any of us relying too heavily upon guilt is that guilt is inherently heavy-handed and comes with a prefigured model for how things"ought" to be done and how we "must" do them."
"If you listen carefully to the US Secretary of State you will not hear the language of invitation or dialogue. You will usually hear the language of "shoulds," "oughts" and "musts""
"For those who care about the world but carry a heavy burden of guilt, my counsel is to take a year of vacation from your guilt and just listen, listen to the other voices within you. Listen to all the voices for beauty, fairness, and wholeness outside of you. This may be a difficult year, but it is worth the risk in a world grasping for wholeness."
"Healthy foks will usually notice that guilt-induced work leads very quickly to a new set of rules and operating procedures that give little space for the spirit, especially the spirit of transformative love."
- Gene Stoltzfus (former director of Christian Peacemaker Teams)
Don't be lured away from him by the latest speculations about him. The grace of Christ is the only good ground for life. Products named after Christ don't seem to do much for those who buy them (Hebrews 13:9)
Products such as guilt, shoulds, oughts, and musts seem to be products that we stamp the name of Christ across.
Free us...
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