The Spirit of Elijah

I have to express my delight over the 12 1/2 hr sleep I just had. Wow! I feel like a million bucks!

Anyways-- on to more holy things (just jokes…sleep is a very holy practice). I’ve been reading and thinking about Luke 1 over the last week. It’s absolutely incredible! There are so many rich nutrients in this chapter. Perhaps as a pregnant woman I am a lot more enthralled with Mary & Elizabeth’s fears and journey of faith in their own pregnancies.

Even before [John’s] birth, he will be filled with the Holy Spirit. Verse 15b.

Even before his birth? Filled with the Spirit? May this be so for my own child and those who are pregnant right now.

With the spirit and power of Elijah he [John, Elizabeth’s baby] will go before [Jesus] to turn the hearts of parents to their children, and kindle devout understanding among hardened skeptics—he’ll get the people ready for God. Verses 16-17

A few families come to mind as I read over this one. What a beautiful prayer. May the Spirit of Elijah, one that softens parents hearts towards their kids, be powerfully present in the homes of those whose hearts are elsewhere. Come Spirit who dwelt in Elijah and kindle understanding among the hardened skeptics in our churches and communities.

Ready us for You.

Cookie Decorating & Games

We enjoyed four cute and creative little ones this past saturday.

Distress: A Vehicle to Intimacy & Transformation

dis⋅tress (dictionary.com)
–noun
1.
great pain, anxiety, or sorrow; acute physical or mental suffering; affliction; trouble.

Distress that drives us to God = All gain?!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading 2 Corinthians today as I was thinking/praying about some of my own anxieties. This passage holds such good news. Paul is addressing one of the churches here, but I think its ok to insert our own distressed situation into the passage:

9You let the distress bring you to God, not drive you from him. The result was all gain, no loss.

10Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets.

11-13And now, isn't it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God? You're more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible (2 Cor 7, The Message)”

Great Worker amidst distress, continue to develop life, concern, sensitivity, reverence, humanness, passion, & responsibility within us.

little monkey

First piece of baby clothing that Erin and I picked out the other day. It's even organic cotton.

Kidnapped!

Good friend Erin kidnapped me for my b-day (this year I turn 30!) the other day. Her goals, she said, were to make me feel appreciated, like a woman, and like a mom. First she took me to Lulu Lemon and bought me a pair of stretchy pants that I will be able to wear throughout my entire pregnancy! Second, she let me pick out a newborn outfit, my first ever...and next we went to Pastry & Castle on McDermot for a long lunch (this is right up my alley: good company, good food, good atmosphere & no rushing!). And if that was not enough, we finished off the day with a manicure at Aloha Nails --t'was an interesting cultural experience! Needless to say I was spoiled rotten but I enjoyed it thoroughly. Thanks Erin!

Good Fruit Making in Progress

I thank you Lord Jesus for becoming finite and limited so I do not have to pretend that I am infinite and limitless. I thank-you for becoming weak, so I don’t have to be strong (Rohr).

Ok guys, I think I may be the biggest pregnant wimp there is! I’m so accustomed to feeling nice and comfortable in my body that when I don’t feel good I am often tempted to go to the extreme of giving up. The other day on facebook a friend wrote that “everybody who is pregnant should be happy!”….I felt like yelling obscene things at her…

I listened to a beautiful podcast by a 92 yr old woman the other day. She said God’s plan for us today is to mold us more into who He is; our job is to hang on to Him while He is doing this. We cannot produce joy, patience, or love in our lives, that is His job, our job is to hang on to Him & to make ourselves at home in His Love.

Using the passage of the Vine and the Branches a particular tidbit stuck out to me. She stated that some branches must be tied down (or limited) in order to produce good fruit. She specifically highlighted how she at 92 was very limited physically in her body and how parents with young toddlers may feel this way too.

And so the struggle for me is to receive each day as it is.

Father, may you teach us (specifically ME!) to live one day at a time. May you help us notice the grace and mercy you have for us daily.

Be ye Thankful! Now!

Not my will or my plans or
The way I want it
I'm so tired of my hands in the way
So reveal to these eyes the true heart of my Father, today
Lord teach me how to pray
-Jason Upton http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjWtSeSIG7k

I feel a battle going on. Part of me is realizing the difficulty with which I have to miss out on the previous things I have enjoyed. Pregnancy seems to be a sort of fast. Fasting from: staying up late, often coffee, from eating at my same pace (my digestion is super slow), from moving at a faster pace, from running, from participating in certain social activities or outings etc. Right now, I’m sick of this fast, it’s way longer than any fast I’ve ever attempted. I waffle from whining about it to demanding myself to embrace the season I’m in. I don’t know if you’ve ever put yourself through these guilt trips?

“Why can’t you just be thankful, be glad you’re not chronically ill”

“Other people can’t get pregnant, stop complaining!”

Anyways, I’m finding these demands on myself don’t seem to transform the way I feel…surprise, surprise…I know that most of the answer is found in Grace, however, I’ll have to let it find its way to me today as I can’t seem to manufacture it.

Not my will or my plans or
The way I want it
I'm so tired of my hands in the way
So reveal to these eyes the true heart of my Father, today

116

GRACIOUS is the Lord, and righteous; our God is MERCIFUL (!)

Return, O my soul, to your rest, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you..

What shall I return to the Lord for all his bounty to me?

O Lord, I am your servant..You have loosed my bonds.

I will offer to you a thanksgiving sacrifice and call on the name of the Lord.

I will pay my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people, in the courts of the house of the Lord, in your midst, O Jerusalem. Praise the Lord!

(yummy & tasty excerpts from Psalm 116)

Heartbeat!

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Ok, this morning was the coolest ever! We heard my baby's heart beat! There is actually something inside of me. Because of my extra-slow digestion I was beginning to think perhaps there was a tapeworm and not a baby in there, but there is!! Cool, cool, cool!!!!!! AND my blood pressure was way healthier this time round...AND I did not pass out during my blood tests. On the weight gain end of things I have only gained 1/2 a kilo, but I'm thinking this will pick up in the 2nd trimester. Awesomeness. Thanks to the Good Good Lord.

Surrounded and Enveloped

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Today I was re-embraced through Jason Upton and His son’s song on you tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItnM1bRv-Eg

This morning I feel as though I will never, NEVER EVER (!!) tire of hearing of Papa’s love for me. Tell me again daddy! Today I feel as if the only words I hear from Jesus for the rest of my life are, “I love you” I would be forever content and full. I was trying to picture what it would be like to hang out in heaven where only Truth and Life exist. What would it be like to only hear Good News as you go grocery shopping or when you pick up the phone? Imagine waking every morning feeling rested, full and whole. Imagine going for a walk and passing Jason Upton as he sings love-melodies into the air and then dropping by the local heavenly bakery where the baker exhibits warmth and shares with you the awesome walk he had with Jesus and Moses yesterday as he hands you a fresh cinnamon bun (ok, I guess these are my fantasies!)!

As my body was shaking through weeping and receiving His love for me, I figured my human body would explode if I were in an environment where I would always know such a “full” love. I swear the human frame would not be able to live through a full exhibit of his love, perhaps the spirit could, but not the body.

Thank-you for ‘Operation Love-Invasion’ this morning. I pray you would envelope, surround, and soothe us with Your Fullness today. Jesus, enable my friends and I to receive and to hear the Good News of how precious we are to you. Oh! How you love us!

The Ultimate Prayer Guy

I am 11 weeks pregnant as of tomorrow! Throughout my pregnancy I have been very intentional about bringing every worry to Jesus. (I wish I would be this intentional on hearing what he has to say in other areas!) This last time I brought a concern to him, I had a picture of us sitting by a river with my community, just chillin'.

Side note: Already, I have been so blessed to have family and friends that have made me countless meals, been excited with me, driven me to my classes, and listen to me ramble on about my pregnancy woes. I already feel like this baby belongs to my community, more than me!

I don't know if I've ever asked Jesus to pray for me, but for some reason I turned to Jesus and asked if he would pray over my womb and for my baby, er, his baby. "All" he did was lay his hand on my womb. I felt so incredibly secure having Jesus, the ultimate prayer guy, pray over me. Why have I not asked this of him before?! He prays the best prayers ever & exactly in accordance with his will for me and this little guy inside of me. Hokey Coolness!

"And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Romans 8:27

Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!

The Freedom of being Human!

The truth of the following has been impacting me lately: I am human. This means I cannot do everything. I cannot be everything to everybody. I cannot be consistent all the time. I am limited. I will disappoint you, I will hurt you. I also may encourage you and shed beauty on your life. The fact that I am human has been liberating, it lets me off the hook from being limitless & perfect.

Here are my favourite excerpts of a prayer I came across by Francis of Assisi:

I thank you Lord Jesus, for becoming a human being so I do not have to pretend or try to be a God. I thank you for becoming finite and limited so I do not have to pretend that I am infinite and limitless..I thanks you for becoming inferior so I do not have to pretend that I am superior to anyone...

I thank you for becoming weak, so I don't have to be strong. I thank you for being willing to be considered imperfect and strange, so I do not have to be perfect and normal [you mean, I can be my quirky self??]. I thank you for being willing to be disapproved of, so I do not have to try so hard to be approved of and liked.

I thank you for being considered a failure, so I do not have to give my life trying to pretend I'm a success. I thank you for being wrong by the standards of religion and state, so I do not have to be right anywhere.

Falcon Beach Ranch

Orignially, Dono and I booked this wknd away b/c we weren't seeing much of each other. However, since pregnancy, we've seen a whole lot of each other! Nonetheless, it was a wonderful wknd of rest and of drinking in the outdoors. We spent our time searching for baby names, reading "The Shack" to each other (yes, it is taking us forever to read this book together even though it is awesome!), comparing differing quotes from a favourite author, and watched "Into the Wild" & some Chinese documentary...

Chewing on this one...

One of the few generalizations we can make in the field of universal spirituality is this: No one else is your problem. You are always the locus of conversion and transformation. It is always about you first of all. Always. You can even use that as a good litmus test for authentic spirituality. Is it keeping you listening for God? Is it keeping your own feet to the fire? Then it is probably healthy teaching. Is it leading you to suspicion, paranoia, accusation and blaming? Then it is from the "Accuser," which is a quite significant New Testament name for Satan.

-Rohr & Feister

Heavenly Grapefruit! Thou art so Glorious!

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The cat is out of the bag, yes, I am pregnant. Strange & Wonderful.

Anyways, my diet has significantly changed. I am now an intense carnivore. Yesterday, I had turkey for lunch and fish for supper. I have actually had meat fantasies where I’m sitting amongst piles of meat and devouring them. I’m assuming my body is in need of some protein??

And today, I discovered a new food life-saver: citrus!! Thank-you God for citrus. I just devoured a grapefruit,..mmmm…so tasty!

Who We Are

"What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it -- we're called children of God! That's who we really are" 1 John 3

When we discover ourselves "hidden with Christ in God," we don't need any kind of self-image at all...This is what will happen when we expose ourselves to silence and stop exposing ourselves to the judgments of the world; when we stop continuously "picking up" the energy of others; when we stop thinking about what others think of us and what they take us to be. We are who we are in God -- no more and no less..

We have to discover what we have always been in God. When we get to this place, we will know and love ourselves, in spite of all the negative and opposing evidence. It is the spacious place of the soul. To live there is finally to be at home.

Simplicity by R. Rohr

Happy Happy!

Today’s Wardrobe

I put on righteousness as my clothing; justice was my robe and my turban.

Job 29:14

Definitions of justice that I like: to appreciate properly, or, to acquit in accordance with one’s abilities or potentialities (dictionary.com)

The mop is gone!

We are Family

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"Some years ago I was preaching in Africa, in the cathedral of Nairobi. The people listened to me for hours and at the end I was invited to pray with them. They gathered in the sanctuary and sat down on the floor. An old black man prayed, "Lord, never let us move into stone houses." And I nodded and said, "Yes, Lord," though I had no idea what this prayer actually meant. The praying lasted more than an hour. Then I went into the sacristy and asked the priest why the man had said this prayer. The priest answered,"You know our country. People here live in little huts, and huts have no doors. That's why your family is my family, an my family is your family. The only family is the extended family. But as soon as you move into a stone house, you build a door. And on the door you put a lock. And behind this door you begin to collect your belongings, and then you have to spend the rest of your life defending those belongings." Thus the world is divided for all time into "mine" and "thine." "

-R. Rohr The Freedom of Letting Go

Wealth and Fulfillment (do these words go together?)

I’ve been reading Luke 12: 22-34 for the last number of weeks, wishing & hoping that some day I will get it. I wish so badly that I would “not be so preoccupied with getting so that I could respond to God’s giving.” I wish I didn’t fuss about the clothes in my closet & that I would be more concerned with “a bank that can’t go bankrupt” that is more concerned with making kingdom deposits rather than storing up material goods.

Jesus’ audience in this passage is his disciples, who are not the wealthy-type as far as I know. A lot of the gospels are written to the poor so I was trying to hear this passage imagining I didn’t know where I would get my next meal from tomorrow. “Don’t worry about what you will eat or drink,” This to me, would sound either ludicrous or wonderful if I were poor. Jesus then encourages them to look at the lifestyle of birds who are “carefree in the care of God [and we] count far more to him than the sparrows.” A call to trust. I feel I don’t even have this opportunity to trust b/c I pretty much know I will be fed today and tomorrow.

If I was dirt poor (like the majority of the world) I would not have the option of making myself happy by buying new clothes, spending all day on the internet, going out to a restaurants, joining a yoga class, travelling, or cooking just for the heck of it. I would not have the option of finding fulfillment or enjoyment in these things. So where must they find their fulfillment?? I’m guessing within their relationships & within themselves rather than searching externally for fulfillment. Thus, I have heard that the poor have a headstart over us wealthy people when it comes to trusting God! And so I understand Matt 5:3 which states “blessed are the poor..”

“The poor of the world do not have the luxury of assuming that external things will offer them fulfillment. They don’t have access to them so they have to find life at a deeper, immediate, and more simple level.” (Rohr)

And so I struggle. I want to know the unshakable riches of being RICH in relationships, RICH in knowing Christ dwells within and that He is enough. But I fear what it may take to get there.

Content

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Your blessed when you're content with just who you are -- no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

The Mystery that Holds our Marriages Together

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Today as I was praying for my marriage I ended up praying universally for marriages. Like a scroll in my mind, couple after couple unfolded in my minds eye as I stamped Truth's transformative words over them.

Unifier of Marriages, would you properly fix and fit together all the broken and dislocated pieces of our marriages. Would you redeem them into vibrant harmonies. We know you can do this b/c of your death and blood that was poured out for us on the cross. We remember that you have said that you go before all the things, our marriages, and YOU are the one who holds them together, not us [how ludicrous to think that we have this ultimate power!!].

We know you are on our side, alongside us, we are not alone.

I want you woven into a tapestry of love, in touch with everything there is to know of God. Then you will have minds confident and at rest, focused on Christ, God's great mystery. All the riches treasures of wisdom and knowledge are embedded in this mystery.

(Based on Colossians 1)

So be it.

Measuring Success

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Observation#1: I often catch myself measuring my life-progress or lack there-of. Not that measuring progress is always a bad thing, but I try to keep a tight grasp on measuring myself so that I can feel in control.

Observation #2: I have been chatting with some friends who are disappointed in their "lack of success" and are frustrated that they are not "further along" in life.

Quote: Success has very little to teach us in the spiritual life, but failure and fiascoes (disaster, catastrophe, debacle, flop, bomb) are great teachers...sin is a great instructor. We learn much more from our pain than from our pleasure. We learn much more from letting go than from holding tight. (Simplicity: The Freedom of Letting Go)

Now, that makes a lot of sense to me as I look back over the things that have transformed me. Mainly, they were experiences that I did not welcome.

Thank-you Great Teacher for revealing Truth to us in our failures and transforming us through pain.

We have access!

Spiritually alive, we have access to everything God's Spirit is doing....[HELLO!!]

..and can't be judged by unspiritual critics [that's kinda handy!]

1 Cor 2 The Message

Are we accessible?

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Living in community means living in such a way that others can access me [!!] It also means allowing others to influence my life...it means that I have the opportunity to get "out of myself" and serve the lives of others.

By community I don't mean primarily a special kind of structure, but a network of relationships. On the whole we live in a society that's built not on community and cooperation, but on competition.

(R.Rohr w/ some add-ins by Andrea)

Andrea: Jesus, what areas do I need to allow others to access me in?

What I trust Jesus said to me: Let them access your joy and your sorrow. As you explore the depths of My Joy and Sorrow, others will be able to access Me through you. It is through exploring these things that you get a good picture of the things that matter to Me.

And so I pass the question on to you -- what areas may Jesus be inviting you to be accessible in?

Teary hugs in the checkout lane

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So anyways, as you probably noticed from my last entry, I am slightly stressed...I have been destressing today through cooking. I thought this is what I needed until I went to the IGA to pick up some food. So, I'm in the checkout lane when I spot a beautiful aboriginal woman, a good friend of my parents, wave at me. I hadn't seen her in awhile so it brought a smile on. This is a good feeling...this smiling feeling. Seconds later, as the cashier is ringing my food through, she approaches me from behind and gives me a gigantic hug! This catches me off guard as she states, " I just had to come give you a hug, I haven't seen you for so long" and then she finishes it off with another hug! My goodness, the tears came, the lump in my throat enlarged as the cashier is trying to get my attention. All of a sudden I felt worth it, all of a sudden a need was met that I didn't know was there. I felt loveable! Is this not our greatest need? I often forget the power of a genuine hug or a "good to see you".



So hug-on friends!

Constantly in Crisis

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Today was one of the most stressful days of my shelter career. I was holding down the fort alone and running from crisis to crisis to crisis. As I talked to other shelter workers, they sounded run down and exhausted as well. I try to remind myself of the importance of shelters and the work I do, but it is hard to keep spirits up and believe in the justice of it all when I am thinly stretched across many people's crises. I tried to think about people like Robert Dallaire who went from extreme trauma to trauma and just kept on going. Wow! I have tremendous respect for this man and so many others that work tirelessly on behalf of non-violence. Sustaining a pace in this kind of work seems ludicrous at times but it seems needed. How does a person work to balance life when amongst crises day after day? How can those of us that work in the crisis business be healthy?

-Just wondering!

Good and Evil

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Dono and I have been reading "The Shack" aloud together (I love reading books out LOUD with people, it feels cozy and all community-like) I find I have to reread sections as it can be mind boggling to digest. It's a story of man's encounter with God (Papa), Jesus, and the Holy Spirit (Sarayu). The quote that I've been chewing on lately and loving is as follows:



"You must give up your right to decide what is good and evil on your own terms."



Isn't this the truth?! So many experiences I have gone through do not feel so good, but have been transforming in my journey with Papa. The times that I have declared horrible became times of redemption. Deep redemption. The kind that digs through the depths of your soul, or as John 15 would put it: The Great Pruning. The things that seem hard in my life right now, I am sort-of able to look at with fresh eyes, knowing that if I allow the Great Pruner to do His job, a deep redemption is being completed within me and beyond.

***

When I determine what is good and evil, I become the judge. To make it even more confusing, that which I determine to be good will change over time and circumstance. Plus, there are billions of people each determining what is good and what is evil. So when my good and evil clashes with my neighbour's fights and arguments ensue.. (p.135)

Latte & Marshmallow Night!

Hanging with Tiara & Mikayla, two of my most funny-giddy-craziest cousins!

Who knew marshmallows could be so much fun!

Thanks for the fun evening girlie-oo's!

God is already present

God is present with you, with me, at this very moment.

You cannot search for what you already have. You cannot talk God into "coming" into you by longer and more urgent prayers. All you can do is become quieter, smaller, and less filled with your own self and its flurry of ideas and feelings. Then God will be obvious in the very now of things. It is so simple that it is actually hard to teach.

Simplicity by Richard Rohr

Goodness

Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; God probes for what is good. (Prov 16:2)

What does real goodness look like? The other night Dono and I planned out what we thought would be a good evening together, you know the things you plan that make you feel good? Well, let's just say that the God of True Goodness led us on a path that didn't necessarily feel good BUT was a deep goodness; a cleansing and true goodness.

Come True Goodness and interfere with our plans.

Sticking with this Grace thing

Paul & Barnabas urged them [friends of God] in long converstations to stick with what they'd started, this living in and by God's grace. (Acts 13:42-43 The Message)

This is good news as I often measure myself and others as better or worse based on looks, performance, status, etc... Part of living by grace means we acknowledge that we are all equally valued and loved, always. May we stick with and live in this kind of grace. May we pour it all over others and receive it for ourselves!

My friend Joel

Today I watched a bit of Joel Osteen on TV. It was about expecting good, expecting good, and expecting good. I don't know what to do with this sort of stuff...First off, I feel myself being skeptical of him b/c he's famous and rich. Secondly, my heart wants to expect good everywhere, but knows that expectations often bring me to a faith crisis. This is one of the scriptures he mentioned:

Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever.
He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

Psalm 112:6-7

For real?? What is it like to not fear bad news? To not fear that the ambulance could be my grandpa or that my husband was in a car crash, or that I'm barren! Hmmm...

Loving the Weirdo's

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So you know that larger nanny lady on TV? She has this large blonde bee-hive bun for a hairdo. She looks ridiculous! Next, I looked out the window as this nerdy looking guy walked past with a weird geeky spring in his step.

There are some weird looking people out there! There are many people who I judge as being uncool b/c they are stuck in the 80's, or they talk funny, or they are socially awkward, or they have very strange opinions (to name a few!)

This is what I felt Jesus saying to me later:

“I love the differences in which people think & look. I love how different people function. You may laugh or poke fun, but I give glory to the Father”

You see, God’s been trying to teach me how to see things like he does. I have always been fascinated by different cultures and welcomed their differences. However, when it comes to my own culture, I am way less accepting…so, here's a toast to the socially awkward, to those who don't keep up with the lastest fashion, to the man with chronic B.O, to the lady with hairy arms, legs, and armpits, to the geek with acne and shuffling feet...

Grant us Your Eyes.

Blessing A-town

When right-living people bless the city, it flourishes; evil talk turns it into a ghost town in no time. (Prov 11:11)

I witnessed this, this past week through my husband and grandmother picking up other people's garbage around town (they do this regularly when they are out walking) & through those who have kind tongues. What I mean is, those who are tempted to spread uncensored news on to others, but instead choose to be gracious with another's reputation. These are two simple nutritional ingredients (when concocting a flourishing town) that I celebrated this week as these right-living people blessed our town.

Thanks!

Tears

Mma Ramotswe had a gift for the American woman, a basket, which Mma Ramotswe bought from a poor woman on the side of the road. It was a traditional Botswana basket, with a design worked into the weaving.

"These little marks here are tears," she said. "The giraffe gives its tears to the women and they weave them into the basket."

"You are very kind, Mma Ramotwe," she said. "But why did the giraffe give its tears?"

Mma Ramotse shrugged; she ahd never thought about it. "I suppose that it means that we can all give something," she said. "A giraffe has nothing else to give--only tears."

Excerpt from Tears of the Giraffe by Alexander McCall Smith (p.226-7)

Bush Tea

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Anyone that has a slight glimpse into my mind knows that a cup of tea is not just a cup of tea, nor is a cappuccino just a cappuccino. These daily rituals are a matter of our senses being awakened topped off with stimulating conversation; or, if alone a saoking in of one's environment.

I missed book club this last week. We reviewed a book from the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency, which takes place Botswana. So in lieu of the series, I will share one of my fav quotes.

Mr Badule nodded eagerly. He seemed close to tears for some reason, and Mma Ramotswe (detective) knew that the ritual of tea, with the mugs hot against the hand, would somehow make the story flow and would ease the mind of this troubled man.

p. 130 (from the 2nd book in the series)

Did I mention..

Did I mention that the B&B lady dug up these flowers for me to plant in my yard? This place definitely gets an A+ !

Nestin' on Lakeview B&B II (in St. Malo):

Our bedroom

Our sitting room

Breakfast!

Nestin' on Lakeview Bed & Breakfast I:

Front of House

Back of House

Stairway to our bedroom and sitting area.

Dono & I snuck away for a night which consisted of sleeping, birdwatching, reading, sleeping, movie and sleeping.

Done!

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The classroom is empty!

DONE:
completed; finished; through: Our work is done.

worn out; exhausted; used up.

(dictionary.com)

Praise the Good Lord, I completed my spring course as of yesterday! I managed to come out of this class with an A- which I attribute, seriously, to the mercy of the Good Lord. Thanks for keeping my head above water.

New Fire Pit!

The Bergman/Loewen boys completed our fire pit this week and we had our first celebration last night with 12 attendees. I pretty much want to live out there. We love it! Gear up, there are more fires to come & y'all are invited.

Fear and Love

The following is a quote my Professor sent me today:

It is fear that has made people like rocks — very stiff, hard, non-vulnerable — because they are afraid that somebody may enter, somebody’s love, and some tenderness may surface. They have been taught not to allow anything to enter, because if something enters, you are no more in control. You become pregnant, so you protect yourself.

By and by, because of fear and continuously defending ourselves, we have shrunken. Drop the fear and you start expanding. Become fragile and you start expanding. When there is no fear, there is nothing else but god. When there is no fear only love is left, because there are only two orientations — fear or love. If fear is there, love cannot exist. If fear is not there. Love suddenly erupts, explodes, and then you will sing out of love and you will dance out of love. You will cry and you will laugh. You will be almost mad with love. And this love is unaddressed… not to anyone in particular.'

Heart Tending

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Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts.

Proverbs4:23

When I was single, I interpreted this verse as being careful about which guys to give my heart to.

The other day, the picture that popped into my head was of Jesus holding my physical heart very gently with both of His hands. He was reminding me that he holds my heart very gently. Being vigilant is about taking my hurt or hardness to Jesus and allowing him to deal with it (or to guide me in the next step). He is the one who is the Real Protector of my heart; my way of protecting it is not actually protecting it, instead it causes my heart to become fashioned after me! When I work to protect it, I put up fortresses around it so that certain feelings don't have to be felt or dealt with, and that does not yield a pretty harvest!

Anthony Speaks

“If you really want something, let it go, surrender, give it up because it is not about you. None of us have any power, we are powerless.”

These are words I heard Anthony Hopkins say to a group of aspiring actors & actresses this afternoon. Funny. I thought he would speak about working your butt off to get what you want -- to work your way up. I was struck by the idea that every human seems to have within them a spirit, or a divine indwelling, & that there seems to be an inner wisdom that we can learn from, even those in the Hollywood scene. I suppose this reveals how much I have written off Hollywood & called its people foolish.

Finding it hard to sit down...

(cc)

I am a person who loves solitude, reflection, prayer, and rest. Before working full-time and going to school I could spend hours sitting or resting. Now that I've had a more hectic schedule for the past 2 months, I have found that it is really difficult to sit down and rest on a day off. I wonder if this means that I am losing a very precious part of myself, or, if it's just a different season. Hmmmm...

Cloudy

It's an espresso con panna kind of day. 8.5 hours until I'm done being stressed out. Last big project/presentation due today!!

Teach me to play this music!

This last May at our church retreat, we were guided in some listening prayer. The question we were to ask God was, "what's something you want to give us as we leave the retreat?" I felt He answered with "a violin bow" When I asked "why," He said "to play the music of the spirit". This felt very intimate to me.

Last night as I was reading an article, the following words stuck out to me as part of the music that we are to hear and play:

For beneath the sound and fury of the daily news, if only we can hear it, there is music. Beneath the unfolding drama of history, there is an ongoing story, the story of grace at work in the world. When we who face such enormous challenges today forget this key, we can easily falter and lose hope. For it is only the manna of grace, gathered daily, that sustains us. It is only grace that allows us to act in this world without contributing to its destruction.

(Paula Huston)

There are particles of grace surrounding and interrupting your day and its news right now. Beneath the "to do" list of the day, there is music playing, wooing you into its Truth.

Come.

Anniversary Escapade 2

Jumbo shrimp (Dono got steak), twice baked potatoes, and asparagus for the main meal

Custardy creme brulee with a filo crust with berries for dessert.

Last but not least, our esteemed server Erin --master chef-- I highly recommend her!

A stellar first anniversary indeed.

(A major spaaccial thanks to the Funk's who made it happen!)