Not my will or my plans or
The way I want it
I'm so tired of my hands in the way
So reveal to these eyes the true heart of my Father, today
Lord teach me how to pray
-Jason Upton http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjWtSeSIG7k
I feel a battle going on. Part of me is realizing the difficulty with which I have to miss out on the previous things I have enjoyed. Pregnancy seems to be a sort of fast. Fasting from: staying up late, often coffee, from eating at my same pace (my digestion is super slow), from moving at a faster pace, from running, from participating in certain social activities or outings etc. Right now, I’m sick of this fast, it’s way longer than any fast I’ve ever attempted. I waffle from whining about it to demanding myself to embrace the season I’m in. I don’t know if you’ve ever put yourself through these guilt trips?
“Why can’t you just be thankful, be glad you’re not chronically ill”
“Other people can’t get pregnant, stop complaining!”
Anyways, I’m finding these demands on myself don’t seem to transform the way I feel…surprise, surprise…I know that most of the answer is found in Grace, however, I’ll have to let it find its way to me today as I can’t seem to manufacture it.
Not my will or my plans or
The way I want it
I'm so tired of my hands in the way
So reveal to these eyes the true heart of my Father, today
3 comments:
thanks for your honesty, time and time again Andrea!! it's incredibly refreshing!! i like the language of "finding it's way to you". first, I think it's something God wants to give you, not something you can "produce". and second, the statement means you're open to "it" finding you...i think that's a pretty cool place to be!!
thanks!! (and i've been WAITING for you to post lately...so thanks for filling that for ME today!!)
Dar
aww thanks.. thanks for first of all listening to me rant this morning and then reading about it all over! Thanks true friend.
You are doing a great job Andrea!
Wendy
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